Jokes of the day

Congressman's Money
A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money." The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You cannot do this, I'm a United States congressman!" The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!"

Language Barriers

An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York with 2000 Japanese yen and walked out with $72.
The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and was handed $66. He asked the teller why he got less money than the previous week.
The teller said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"

Sign on the Brothel
Q. What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
A. Beat it! We're closed.